In Chuck Klosterman’s collection of essays, “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs,” the author asks 23 philosophical questions that demand to be answered. I originally posed these questions on my Facebook and received some excellent answers. Here is the question and the best responses I received. If you’d like to contribute, then please continue this dialog in the comments section. The only rules are to be respectful of others. That is all I ask. And now, the first most important question.
3) Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler’s skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can’t give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler’s skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical.
Which option do you select?Ashley Thomas – Do we have to let anyone know whose skull it is? In a room of, for example, ceremonial tribal decor, it might not look too strange….
Adam Slemp – Can I use the Hitler skull as an ash tray, or place it into an aquarium with cool air bubbles coming out of it?
Me – Ashley – I believe with the word “display” Chuck is going for more than merely showing it off. It must be labeled so everyone can easily know what it is.
Slemp – I believe using Hitler’s skull as an ash tray or as an aquarium display would be considered disrespectful and therefore, not apolitical. So, no, you couldn’t do either of those things.
Andy Fetters – Id have to go with the skull. Have you ever seem the mans facial structure? Talk about brad pitt of the twenties. Of course the stache still being intact would be the true selling point. If ooze is available turtle is definitely a go.
Mike Patton – Either way you are good.
Scenario one: The turtle is a simple fine. A grand and then you don’t owe anyone anything. It costs less than most pets and children so you aren’t losing out really. Plus you can talk to the turtle.
Scenario two: The more interesting tool, the skull. I mean tool as in douche bag of a skull of a former douchey human being. I hope my living room is in view of a track and I hope there are lots of fast black people running on that track like Usain Bolt. Then I can invite all the black and white people and everyone in between over and laugh at how silly the skull was to think blacks were inferior when Jessie Owens owned him in 1936 dominating track and field events while we eat caviar and champagne, over other jovial and mirthful conversation. Be one hell of a party, plus it pays for itself.
The point is all about perception and message. Evil is silly when you properly put it in it’s place.
Samantha Walker – I want the turtle….and I want to name him franklin.
or…mephisto.
I am indifferent to hitler’s skull…but I always wanted a turtle
Honestly, given my track record with small animals, I believe I would need to choose the skull based entirely on practical grounds. I have had a horrible time keeping fish alive, and while turtles are theoretically harder to kill, the possibility of being fined has a strong negative component to it.
As to the skull, it would be rather easy for me to use it as a non-political decorative item due to my interest in history, WWII being one of those periods of great fascination to me. Thus, as part of a historical display, the skull would be a curiosity and item of fascination, not unlike a gas mask or Nazi flag. Plus, the added income from the display makes this even more appealing. A skull is a skull, it doesn’t much matter whose it is. I could also fix a nice Halloween display with it.
I’d take the skull. No one would really think less of me for having it, they might wonder how i got it, but I’d be geting paid so i don’t care. Also most might not even believe its hitler’s skull.
Plus i can’t guarantee i’d be able to keep a turtle alive.