Ehrgeiz – weird to pronounce and weird to play

Back before Squaresoft believed in quality control for their games, they had a series of strange releases, but none of the games released during this time were as bizarre as Ehrgeiz.  At first glance, it may seem like a bland fighting game, but that’s only the arcade version, pop the Playstation version game in and you’ll find not only a bland fighting game, but some bland mini-games and an impossibly hard RPG. Arcade Mode – The battle system is similar to Tobal No. 1 in that the fighters are on a 3d plane, but compared to that abomination, Ehrgeiz runs at light speed. Perhaps the only real difference is the addition of the special power meter. Gone are the days of fighters endlessly shooting fireballs at one another as this system relies on players to use their powerful attacks sparingly. The fighting feels a little slow today, but it wasn’t the combat that made gamers want to play Ehrgeiz. In addition to forgettable fighter stereotypes (including fighting genre favorites “wiry girl” and “fat wrestler”), the game featured Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart, and Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII. Finally, players could be Final Fantasy characters outside of the RPG setting. And as bad as this game is, stabbing Cloud’s sword into a Japanese wrestler is still pretty cool.

It is also worth noting that the fighters in this game all have their own back stories, but much like fighting games of the the 16 bit era, players have to read the manual to understand who the fighters are, but chances are, no one will care in the slightest.

Mini-Games - Not able to justify a full game based on a bland arcade fighter, Squaresoft decided to throw in a button-mashing beach racing game (for those times when you’ve wondered whether Cloud or Sephiroth would win in a 20 meter dash), a version of reversi where players beat the crap out of each other, and a race where players slowly run around a tiny track while hitting one another. Playing each one of these modes once is more than enough.

RPG – Perhaps the only part of Ehrgeiz that is actually worth replaying, this action RPG/dungeon crawl is fascinating due to the fact that it is so broken and nonsensical. It doesn’t so much feel like a game as much as it feels like someone’s beta test of a game. Allow me to try and explain this mess.

The game begins with the thinnest idea of a plot; a professor and his female student are searching for an ancient civilization buried in Germany that had a rock that will lead to immortality. How the professor and his student know it will lead to immortality isn’t explained nor is it explained how they magically appeared in a temple at the start of the game. The game leads the player down a hole that is supposedly the only exit, yet there is no entrance to the room.

The controls should be noted at this time. Square, X, and circle squat. L1 is jump. Select pauses the game, but pressing select again doesn’t unpause it because that would make too much sense. Start unpauses after select pauses the game just to mess with the player a little. It just makes me happy that there are three buttons dedicated to squatting.

After being led through a sewer to outside, the professor and his student awaken in a hotel room together. Ignoring the lawsuit waiting to happen (or perhaps because of this) the professor leaves his student behind and is stopped by the front desk clerk who says, “You and your companion were found unconscious near the outskirts of town. I took the liberty of bringing you to this hotel.”

This guy must have been pretty strong to carry the two of main characters to a hotel, but before the professor can question how much that doesn’t make sense, the hotel manager gives him some weapons and armor that were left by other travelers so the professor can head back into the dungeon. Apparently, hotel policy is all about giving away lost and found items and the professor doesn’t question it because a sword and shield are standard equipment for an archaeologist except that he apparently forgot his sword and shield for this expedition.

Lastly, the hotel manager explains that the original control scheme was all bull crap and then proceeds to give a nine page rundown of how to play the game. Its a bit of an info-dump and not at all memorable.

Once the game begins, there are three places to go to get into the dungeon. There is a lower entrance that features impossibly hard enemies for the level you begin at, a well that has a powerful octopus that will kill the player instantly and a top floor that is little easier to fight in.

I made the mistake of going to the tough enemies first. Four jellies met me in a room where I hacked and hacked and hacked and hacked and hacked and hacked away until I mercifully killed two when a bear suddenly appeared and I was murdered and all of my items exploded out of my body.

Back in the hotel, the student realizes that the professor has been gone for awhile, so she decides to look for him. The problem is that she has no equipment, so she must get back to the professor’s weapons and equip them. Even if you avoid the jellies and the bear that killed the professor, the student can’t equip the weapons in a room with enemies and she dies.

Suffice it to say, I died again as the professor, died again as the student and it was game over.

I restarted the game, and entered the easier area and found it much more manageable. I hacked away through a few areas when I noticed a small energy bar underneath my health. This is your endurance bar and the more you move, the more it goes down. In fact, if you don’t move, it still falls.

Furthermore, you have to be conscious of your Protein, Vitamins, Minerals, Carbohydrates, or Lipids by eating different foods. Not eating various foods means that your Attack, Magic Attack, Dexterity, Defense, or Speed will diminish, so eating is an absolute must even when your health and endurance are full.

Lastly, the player doesn’t just have to be mindful of health stats, but also of weapon stats as well because weapons can break and then you’re really in a tough place.

Needless to say, all of this eating, and repairing of weapons takes a lot of money to keep the player going, but it gets worse because players have to PAY in order to SAVE THE GAME! The payment for saving is ten times the amount of the highest character’s level.

This game is ridiculously hard and unbelievably maddening. In short, this game is straight up stupid.

Which really means . . .

That I have to beat this RPG.