Last week, I expressed my anger towards Star Wars. In order to defeat Star Wars, I have decided to take on the Deathstar Wing Challenge at local restaurant favorite Grad School. Before I take on the wings though, I have to go through some training, so I decided to start off relatively easy with the Atomic Hot Wings from Wing Stop.
The following are some pics from my adventure.
Atomic wings to power. Turbines to speed.
These are the Atomic Wings. They looked awfully red, but they smelled really good. At least, the smell of them didn’t make my nose burn, so I figured that they were relatively safe. I got five of them just to test out the heat. Also note that I went with traditional wings instead of boneless because they are more work.
Yeah, I'm wearing a "Zan" from the Wonder Twins shirt
In order to mentally prepare myself for this task, I decided to wear my “Wonder Twin Zan” t-shirt because he is the greatest water-based hero of all time. I realize that Aquaman is more recognizable, but he can’t turn into water, so I channeled Zan on this one. Ross Payton is taking the pictures. He thinks its weird that I know the names of the individual Wonder Twins and I think its weird that he doesn’t.
First bite
This is my first bite. Obviously, this is a posed shot, but it should be noted that it burns so bad. I had to avoid inhaling so I wouldn’t get the heat in my lungs. Seriously though, it was a really good wing. It was crispy and though the sauce was hot, it still had flavor. All in all, it was really good.
Eating
Not a posed shot. It really burns now.
And it burns. It really burns.
Dominated
And THAT was phase 1 of Deathstar training, ladies and gentlemen. I didn’t time myself, but it was less than two minutes, I’m sure. The actual eating portion might have burned a bit, but it didn’t really hurt until I sat there afterward. My face and fingers were on fire to the point where I couldn’t eat anything else without feeling the pain. Still, it was for a good cause, and it was just one step in proving that I’ve got what it takes to show that Star Wars sucks.
Phase 1 – Complete.
But Cody, you should know that water does not help alleviate the burning of hot wings, you need a milk based hero to help you out!
The Man Eating Cow?
Captain Midnight? Ovaltine counts, right?
oh cody chan ^_^
He could always channel Food Boy, from the indie film of the same name, with the ability to create any food, including milk. Played by Cody’s arch-nemesis Lucas Grabeel, who was also in the award-winning film, Milk, sure it’s about a political hero, but ya’ gotta give me credit for the word association. I could probably do better, but its the best milk-based hero I could come up with on such short notice.
Terry – I give you full credit for the Milk reference. That was a stretch, but you made it seem so effortless. Very awesome.
Much more entertaining than Man v. Food. You look less like you’ll have a heart attack in the next few hours than Adam Richman.
Cody, I appreciate that you find my level of pop-culture junkie-ism impressive, not sure that’s the word I would have used. Thanks for the compliment none the less.
What’s the base sauce for these? Buffalo Wing Factory down in VA uses a sauce called Endorphin Rush as the base for their hot wings (it is pain in a bottle, so yummy), so I’m curious if you know.
Moondog – Unfortunately, I have no idea. Sorry!
You obviously need to team up with The Cow from the New Adventures of Mighty Mouse. Apparently male, but his symbol would suggest that he has some command of (soothing) milk.
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I’d like to address the irony of you attempting to “defeat Star Wars” by defeating something themed after the Death Star. I’m all in favor of seeing Star Wars get a little whipping, it’s far too high and mighty for its own good. I just want to point out that by attacking and overcoming the Death Star you are, infact, emulating Star Wars!
2/3 of the original Star Wars movies feature the destruction of the Death Star as their finale. Reality has constructed a new Death Star, in chicken form, and is beggin for a young, unassuming choosen one from a wasteland location to rise up and overcome it.
Cody. You live in Springfield. Your pretty damn unassuming. And you are digging deep within yourself for the strength to overcome your obstacles through unorthidox training methods.
If this where being filmed you might be accused of making a Star Wars fan movie.