It all started on February 9 with a little article about why I hate Star Wars so much. While the general consensus seems to be that I am right in portions, Fuzzy Dan (or Bear Dan, as I prefer to think of him) wrote, “As it stands, instead of offering an insightful critique of the Star Wars franchise, as you have done with other franchises you like/dislike, you demonize a vocal minority of its fanbase, one person in particular. Then offer three things you enjoyed about the films, and then offer three criticisms that sound as if they are some type of ideological truth that everyone must admit, regardless of anything else they might think or know about Star Wars.”
That has stayed with me for awhile and its an issue that I should probably tackle in addition to these hot wings, so allow me to amend my hatred of Star Wars and be more precise as to exactly why the franchise is absolute trash.
Allow me to address Bear Dan’s comments in order.
the Vocal Minority – While I might be a bit unfair in lumping everyone who has watched and enjoyed Star Wars into the band of loathsome fans, to say that fans of Star Wars are a vocal minority is a bit misleading. Firefly fans are a minority. Battlestar Galactica fans are a minority. Babylon 5 fans are non-existent. Star Wars has evoked not just a fandom like other sci-fi franchises, but it has created an entire perception outside of fandom that has lead to belief that these films are far more than just a technical achievement.
The How I Met Your Mother clip is indicative of this mentality and is but one of many examples of how the franchise has somehow miraculously been elevated in the minds of not just the vocal minority of nerds, but into this frenzy that the films are better than they are. Are they a technical achievement of their time period? Absolutely. Even without watching the remastered films, the originals still hold up pretty well. This is indisputable.
But, you know what else was a technical achievement? The Matrix. You know what else was? Avatar. There are a number of other films that were technical achievements as well but there isn’t this obsession with those films the way there is an obsession with Star Wars and they are arguably better films (well, Avatar surely isn’t a better film than any of the Star Wars movies, but the Matrix certainly is).
Let’s move on to Bear Dan’s concern with how I offered, “three criticisms that sound as if they are some type of ideological truth that everyone must admit.” What can I say? They are ideological truths that everyone must admit because they are true. Let’s look back to the list:
the Acting – Really? Would anyone dispute that the acting is horrid in all SIX films? Anyone? I mean, I know that I can convince everyone that the original trilogy is tough to watch, but we can certainly all agree that the prequels were horrendous, right? This is a small concern compared to my real problem.
Plot – To be a Jedi, one has to be absolutely pure of mind, heart, and soul. Even one slip into sin is a path to the Dark Side. You’re either good or evil, there is no in-between and that’s just the way it is in the Star Wars universe. Life is not so simple, however. There are numerous actions in our world that can’t be qualified as good or evil except within context. Few things in life are as simple as the Star Wars universe presents and that is why I called it “moralistic drek.”
You’re probably thinking right now, “but it’s just a movie!” Exactly. But, due to the aforementioned mania that surrounds Star Wars not just in nerd circles but in Hollywood in general, there is a perception that the films are more than just a mere technical marvel on film and that they are somehow masterpieces of philosophy that can teach people to lead a better life.
Put the moralistic Star Wars philosophy of “doing one bad things leads to a life of evil . . . and lightning powers” and put it up against something as simple yet complex as the “prime directive” from Star Trek and there is no comparison. Philosophically, the prime directive is (pardon the pun) light years ahead of Star Wars because the basic premise and function of the prime directive can be debated and thought upon.
Prime directive states that the Federation cannot offer technology to races that have not naturally progressed to that level of technology because the consequences could be devastating to the technologically inferior races. Any casual fan of Star Trek knows that prime directive is broken at times, but it leads viewers to ponder the implications of such a strict rule and also of the motivations for the action of breaking the directive on the part of the member of Starfleet (note: it’s usually Kirk that breaks it, and it’s usually because he wants to get laid).
The most that Star Wars has ever gotten from its moralistic philosophy is actually from other media that has questioned it. Perhaps the best example of this would be the conversation between Dante and Randal in Clerks about all of the contractors working on the Deathstar. Were the people working to construct the Deathstar inherently evil people who deserved to die? Probably not. In fact, most of the Stormtroopers were high school dropouts who decided to join the military.
But wait . . . dropping out of high school is looked down upon by society, so it must be evil, so all high school dropouts are part of the dark side!!!!
You know what else is looked down upon by society? Incest. By all rights, Luke became a Sith Lord as soon as his lips touched his sister’s because as we have already established, intent doesn’t matter in the philosophy of Star Wars.
Prequels – Is this not a universal and fundamental truth that these movies suck? Do I really have to go into why they suck? The reasons are too innumerable, so I will instead be rather general in my explanation.
By the end of the prequels, there is a sense of, “well THAT happened” meaning that there aren’t really any surprises. Everything occurred as blandly as possible and it ended with a big “well, it’s over” feeling to them. Can anyone really say that there was even ONE moment in the prequels where you thought, “I never would have thought of that”? I sincerely doubt it.
Obviously I also hate the comic relief in the films (C-3PO’s puns in Attack of the Clones being the worst of them all . . . yes, worse than Jar-Jar or the Ewoks), but this article has gone on too long. So, here are the pics of me finishing off the Deathstar wings and a short play by play.
First off, I absolutely cannot STAND too much sauce on anything. I’m really picky about lots of sauce on food and so when the Deathstar wings came out completely covered in chunky sauce, I almost gagged.
I ordered six wings, but they gave me seven and I like to think that seventh wing represented the unfinished deathstar in Return of the Jedi. Also, note that I am wearing my Star Trek shirt to give me strength in this final challenge.
While I normally absolutely love Grad School’s food, I was not a fan of their wings. It could be because I just wasn’t in the mood for them, but I felt like they weren’t quite crispy enough for my tastes and they had some fat on them so they were a little chewy (not a good thing when you have to eat hot wings as fast as you can to avoid chemical burns). Then again, I was in a foul mood for eating these, so each little problem was magnified to the extreme. Their regular wings are probably good.
Total completion time: Less than 12 parsecs.
Know what I hate? The show Man Vs. Food. I like the host himself well enough it’s the show as a whole that I find annoying. It annoys me to see people eating for reasons other than enjoyment (or, you know, not starving), like some of the food challenges where its pretty apparent the guy is suffering but he keeps eating anyway.
Yeah.
I’m honestly conflicted. I love that you want to take Star Wars down a peg because it certain deserves that. I don’t like the use of wings to do it, see the above. And like I’ve said in your previous entries, you’re kind of emulating Star Wars by “destroying the Death Star”. All that said, you set a goal and stuck to it through some pretty nasty stuff, so I have to at least applaude you for that.
I sincerly tell you Cody: I am impressed and I would never choose to do what you did. Congratulations.
See, I’m a Man vs. Food fan because I’ve always been fascinated with eating challenges for some reason. I’m not an endurance eater though because I can’t eat 5lbs of ice cream or anything like that. When he eats hot wings though, I just think to myself, “I could do that. i would just eat this as fast as possible.”
This was my one and only attempt at trying hot wings at this level and I won’t ever do this again. It was a fun experiment.
As far as your comments on the “destroying the deathstar won’t prove anything,” I completely understand the point your making and I agree with it, but I am operating on the logic that the gang from Always Sunny uses in “the Gang godes Jihad” where they decide to light a bag of poop and throw it in their neighbor’s building because they had to “do something.” In powerless situations, sometimes a man just has to “do something” in order to prove a point even if that point makes no sense to anyone else but himself.
I can understand the desire to do something. What I was really going for was the sense of irony in destorying the Death Star to try and attack Star Wars (see a more length presentation of narrative elements in my post on your first training mission). I think it’s awesome that you want to be proactive. Sadly, it has only, at this literal moment, occurred to me that your local options for actions against Star Wars must be fairly limited since it isn’t too likely that many places have Star Wars themed elements which can be (legally) “destroyed”. In light of my sudden awareness, I would like to change from general applause for actually going something to heart-felt applause for doing the best you could with limited options.
Hey Cody, I don’t mean to disrespect you or anything but I don’t believe that you manage to address Fuzzy Dan’s concern regarding your critique against Star Wars. I’ll try to explain this by going through the points in order as you did.
The Vocal Minority – Yes, Star Wars has become a part of our culture. That doesn’t mean, however, that because someone has watched the six Star Wars movies they’ll start cosplaying as Stormtroopers or as Darth Vader. Yes, Star Wars has more fans than other sci-fi universes, but I think when Dan refers to the “Vocal Minority” he means the sort of fans which you criticized in your first article, which were the sort of fans that join the 501st Legion. You don’t have to like what they do, hell, I think it’s very silly. But in the end that’s what those sorts of people are, a minority when it comes to fans of Star Wars as a group. To say that all Star Wars fans are like that is not fair and entirely ungrounded.
Acting- I’ll just explain this with the prequels so read below.
Plot – Here you mention that the philosophy in the Star Wars universe regarding the light side versus the dark side is too simple. But you yourself answered this the best way I can: It’s just a movie. If someone is going to search for a meaningful philosophy by which to live their life, they won’t (or at least shouldn’t) search for it in a sci-fi movie with light-sabers and X-Wings. No sane adult can believe that a single wrong can’t be justified, or that people cannot repent for their action in some way or another. Hell, our human history proves that we are not perfect, that people have at some point of their life or another, done something that can be considered as bad. Just for that, they won’t be forever damned.
If you want an explanation from the Star Wars universe, look at Darth Vader. He betrayed the Jedi order, killed children, and was generally a prick. Yet when he dies, he is somehow redeemed for all of this, to the point that even Yoda and Obi Wan accept him in the end. So yes, it is a very simplistic way of looking at it, but the purpose of Star Wars is not to debate philosophy. It’s purpose is to entertain, and I believe it achieves that.
Prequels- Something that I’ve heard over and over again is that the prequels did not meet the expectations that Star Wars fans placed on them. But I can look at it from another angle. My nephew, who is ten, watched the prequels (with his father’s supervision, of course) and loved them. Because of them, he has become interested in the whole Star Wars universe and has a bunch of toys and videogames related to Star Wars. As I’m studying Business Administration, I can quickly tell that the prequels were never intended at the raving Star Wars fans, they were directed at a new market. Look at it this way: parents who grew up with Star Wars will be glad to give their children Star Wars toys if the children also want them. In the end, Lucas likes money just as much as anyone else does, and by bringing Star Wars to a new market he makes more money, plain and simple. The prequels don’t need stellar acting, hell look at the sorts of movies that kids nowadays like such as Hannah Montana and High School Musical. Yes, you can criticize the acting, but the kids don’t really care about that at all. What is important to them is the laughs and the thrills and simple enjoyments from the movie. The prequels are entertaining, even if they are not Oscar-worthy at all. Bear that in mind when watching them.
Dom – With Bear Dan’s comments, it made me realize that while I’m not a fan of the 501st, my rage extends beyond that. While the first post was narrow in its focus, I feel that I have addressed the idea of the “vocal minority” in order to show that it isn’t just the minority I have a problem with. All of Hollywood presses the trilogy on us as if they are holy and perfect. How I Met Your Mother is the example I used, but Friends had an episode where Ross admits to have watching Empire 20-something times, and I know there are other films and TV shows that feature character who swear by Star Wars, so it isn’t just the 501st, but it is the whole of the entertainment industry making it seem as if these movies are more than a technical marvel (which they aren’t).
In terms of philosophy, you write, “Here you mention that the philosophy in the Star Wars universe regarding the light side versus the dark side is too simple. But you yourself answered this the best way I can: It’s just a movie. If someone is going to search for a meaningful philosophy by which to live their life, they won’t (or at least shouldn’t) search for it in a sci-fi movie with light-sabers and X-Wings,” but the thing is that people DO search for meaning within the films. They seriously do! The problem isn’t the search for understanding within fiction, because I do this all the time and there’s nothing wrong with it, but the problem is that the philosophy presented isn’t nearly as deep nor as powerful as people would have you believe. Honestly, I think Star Trek philosophy is beautiful because it is complex and holds meaning in how people should interact with one another, but as stated in this article, Star Wars has a simplistic philosophy of “don’t ever do anything bad or you’re evil.”
Prequels – ” I can quickly tell that the prequels were never intended at the raving Star Wars fans, they were directed at a new market.” This is the only argument that I am willing to concede, and I don’t disagree with at all. Still, there are fans who would simply ignore the prequels and I think that is an unfair assessment of the series as a whole to completely ignore them. Yeah, they were made to attract a new market, and from a commercial standpoint, I won’t blame Lucas or anyone else because money is great. In fact, I suppose I won’t blame Lucas at all because I much prefer to blame the game rather than the player. I suppose through all of this writing, I can determine that it’s not really the fans so much as it is the hype surrounding the Star Wars franchise that bothers me.
I can get past the acting in the original star wars trilogy (though I agree with you that it isn’t good–even Harrison Ford has had much better roles), because I am a huge fan of pulps, and Star Wars, in its original incarnation, is very pulpy. I like Indiana Jones for the same reason. Inteletually, Star Trek is much better, because it challenges its audience to ponder issues, and, most likely due to its format (there is a lot more room for varied exploration of ideas in a television series with as many incarnations as Star Trek), it takes more risks. I’m sure you would agree that not every epsiode of The Next Generation was spot on, but you can at least tell they are trying new things, exploring new concepts and narrative strategies. Star Wars, on the other hand, is pure escapism, which is why I have trouble when rabid fans speak of living by the Jedi Code. The fact that Lucas himself was obviously so egomanical by the time the prequels came out that he felt there WAS something more than campy, pulp escapism in his movies is a testament to how dissilusioned and unrealistic Star Wars fans can be. So I completely sympathize with you. Star Trek fans can be just as bothersome, but at least they have something to talk about.
I’d say the original trilogy has better acting by far than the prequels, all they really have is Ewan McGregor doing a great impersonation of a drunken Alec Guiness.
Would i say any of the actors were oscar worthy for their performances? No, but they certaintly aren’t as bad as you make them out to be.
As for the obsession angle…Avatar caused a minority of people depression because the world Pandora wasn’t real. Some claiming contemplation of suicide. I’d even say given time and potential sequals the avatar fans will be right up there with the trekkies and star wars fans.
You also bring The Matrix up, sure it’s a great technical achievement….but that’s about it. The story is really nothing new to science fiction.
One of the reasons i enjoy Star Wars OT, more so than other science fiction, is that it does not come off as science fiction, at its heart its more of a fantasy action adventure film, we arent bogged down with explanations, or other techno babble, there’s magic, sword fights, and gun fights.
additional…..you should continue ordering these wings and build up a tolerance where you won’t have to eat them as fast as possible, then you will have truly won.
“You’re either good or evil, there is no in-between and that’s just the way it is in the Star Wars universe.”
I’ve never seen this in Star Wars at all. There are many moralistic shades of gray: Han waffling over his initial greed, Lando’s obvious regret over betraying Han, Obi Wan as an old man casting shadows of guilt over mistakes from the past, Liam Neeson’s pro-Anakin stance against the wisdom of the Jedi Council… I’m sure there are more, including the whole controversy of editing the Han-shoots-Greedo scene.
In fact, I think one could argue that Star Trek is just as morally simplified–not in its plots, but in its universe. Humanity seems to have been nearly”perfected” by technology and culture, and most bad traits have been shifted over to other races, like greedy capitalist Ferengi, warlike Klingons, devious Romulans, etc (Star Wars makes caricature races, too, but leaves humankind a bit more scrambled). Human quirks and emotions that remain are almost always celebrated as positive, such as when Spock’s human side always gives him his “edge,” or Worf’s human half gives him his honor, etc. Nothing wrong with this, but it’s just as idealistically simple in philosophical terms. Trek just comes off better because it builds plots around these issues, where Wars just uses them to define characters.
That was definitely one thing I liked in the JJ Abrams Trek, how Kirk seemed to claw his way up from the relative shithole of Nebraska. Gotta love that. (I know, Abrams didn’t invent that Kirk was from the midwest, but the depiction of it was gritty.)
Again, I’m arguing from the standpoint of someone who likes both universes, so I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind. I also think both have showcased some pretty dorky acting, but then I’m not a big acting connoisseur. Then again, teen Anakin (and one line from Samuel Jackson) is the only acting in any of them that made me laugh out loud in the theater, so the acting win goes to Trek, but not by that much, especially if you count Jonathan Frakes… and especially if you count the horrors of Jonathan Frakes-directed movies in general.
Oops, I should have said Iowa.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Future_Birthplace_of_Captain_James_T_Kirk.jpg
What, can anyone insult the Frakes?! First Contact was the only good movie TNG crew had!
Plus he’s Xanatos!
http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/22xb
Awesome clip!
everyone keeps jabberin on about star wars…no one says anything about my awesome picture taking ability.
At first I didn’t realize that Cody wasn’t sitting across the table from me. Then I realized that these were just amazingly life-like photographs that captured moments in time.