I know it’s weird to be talking about a movie that was released in 1984, but I recently received Romancing the Stone and it’s sequel Jewel of the Nile for Teacher Appreciation Week (my principal bought movies for teachers and it was the only one that I didn’t already own) so it’s on my mind. My wife and I recently watched Romancing the Stone and it immediately struck me. I haven’t seen the movie in years, so I had forgotten what it was about beyond being a vehicle for Michael Douglas to try being Indiana Jones, so when the plot began to unfold, I had a good laugh at it’s absurdity. For those who haven’t seen the movie, the premise is this:
Kathleen Turner plays a romance writer whose sister has been kidnapped and she must travel to Columbia with a treasure map or something to save her. Along the way she meets Michael Douglas who is an adventurer and the man of her dreams. Also, Danny DeVito plays a bad guy.
After Kathleen Turner gets to Columbia, it’s a pretty standard action film complete with the “will they or won’t they” undertones that drive the romantic portions. But, it’s the exposition that I love. Turner is a romance writer who can’t find love (IRONY) but meets a man who is similar to the hero in her books (MORE IRONY) and the idea that her sister is kidnapped because of a treasure map or something is pure 80s wonderfulness.
But ultimately, it’s a pretty hollow movie. Turner and Douglas are good together, but it’s a forgettable movie that managed to make enough money for a really terrible sequel. So, I got to thinking about the different ways the movie could be remade or changed to make it a much better movie:
1) Gender Swap – I love the idea of a male romance writer trying to save his brother from women thugs and a rugged woman has to guide him through the jungle. Romancing the Stone plays upon traditional gender roles so a gender swap would make the movie really interesting to see. And how often do we see a confident woman saving a man at every turn? How about never. Ever.
2) Tyler Durden – Before watching the movie, Sam was under the impression that Michael Douglas was literally a fictional character that came to life to save Kathleen Turner rather than the figurative manifestation of her writing. This got me thinking about genius it would be for Douglas to be a figment of Turner’s imagination. She is in a dangerous situation and so she takes on the personality of a rugged, dangerous man in order to survive. And the meta-commentary that comes from a woman imagining a strong man because Hollywood has forced that stereotype upon us is too rich.
3) She doesn’t go – Tired of her sister’s antics, Kathleen Turner decides to stay home instead of traveling to Columbia. She keeps writing her crappy romance novels. She dates some but never settles down with a man. Pays bills. Pets her cat. Does some public readings and signings. Tries making different recipes every once in awhile. And it goes on and on until the movie just ends. After all, she’s presented as mousy and unadventurous so why would she even go in the first place?
Romancing the Stone isn’t really a bad movie, but I think that any of the previous options would be preferable to the movie that was made. But maybe that’s just me.
While I can’t see mainstream Hollywood pulling it off, I love the Tyler Durden re-imagining because of the subtle subversiveness that could play out over the course of the movie as it is slowly revealed that Douglas is really Turner. In this scenario, Turner’s character can be a metaphor for American gender roles, emphasizing the confusion, denial, and psychosis that arise when people attempt to force themselves into stereotyped-gender templates.
Totally agree with you and S.W.King about #2!